tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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