I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
