my mouth tastes like poor choices
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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