the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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