But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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