Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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