I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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