Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
