Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
