My nipple is on Facebook.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
