how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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