Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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