I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
