True but thats because hes a fetus.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize