nutella sex= disaster
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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