We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
