I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize