At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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