my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
