you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My vagina just clenched in fear
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
