I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
