how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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