i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
