ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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