I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
