Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
