after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
