I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
