I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
