You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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