I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
