Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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