You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Where is the hickey?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
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I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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