You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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