he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
