So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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