i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
