yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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