I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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