My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
