I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
