We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
