I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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