i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Green mimosas i think yes
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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