Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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