You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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