Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
