I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
