I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
