Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize