on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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