and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize