I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
