I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
foreskin is a definite game changer
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
