the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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