Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
