I'm going to jail i love you
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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