Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
