You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just found a bag of teeth...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
