is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
