Im at strip club and am horny
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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