Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
being pregnant is like rehab
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
