The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Operation Purity has been aborted
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
