Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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