I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize