apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize