My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize