I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
