I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
