I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
