no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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